Is it ever a good idea to reunite with an ex? It can be so tempting to rekindle an old romance, but that doesn’t mean it’s a healthy move. So how do you know if it’s a good idea to get back together?
According to psychologist Dr. Becky Spelman, there are no rules that universally apply to everyone, but there are some things to consider before reigniting a past relationship. She says both people should have a genuine desire to reconnect and be willing to do what it takes to make the relationship work going forward.
Relationship expert Courtney Boyer says these are the signs to look for before getting back with your ex.
- You’ve both done some healing - If nothing has changed, you’re bound to repeat the past.
- You’ve forgiven each other’s past and your own - Without forgiveness, any unresolved resentment will keep you from a happy relationship this time around.
- You know what you want - Make sure you’re clear on your goals and why you want this person in your life and that they’re on the same page. If you try to force something, it’s not going to work.
- You’ve established dealbreakers - Do you both agree on what went wrong in the relationship before? Being honest about what led it to end can help you figure out the dealbreakers that would make you walk away now, and your partner should do the same.
- Don’t focus on the outcome - Wanting something to work so much can leave you fighting for control and making choices out of fear, not love. If it’s right, then you can show up as your authentic self and trust that everything is as it should be and it will work naturally, not because you’re forcing it.