Coming up with things to talk about on a first date can be challenging, which is just one reason first dates can be so cringey. We all know some topics are off-limits, like religion, exes and politics, but what subjects are safe for getting to know someone you’ve never gone out with before? Fortunately, science is here to help daters.
According to studies, these are things you should do so you can kill it on the first date:
- Talk about your adventures - This is the time to share those cool experiences you’ve had! According to one study, 18% of couples who met for a second date talked about their adventures while traveling on their first date. Talking about their travels led to more laughter and smiles between the couple and helped them appear more attractive to each other.
- Be responsive - It’s no good when your date doesn’t say much at all, or talks so much you can’t get a word in, so finding the sweet spot in the middle is key. One way to get the conversation flowing is to build on what your date says by asking them questions in response. Psychologists have found asking your date genuine questions shows warmth.
- Share a secret - Revealing something you wouldn’t normally tell someone can help them to feel mentally closer to you. According to psychologists, you can create a sense of closeness and intimacy by sharing personal information.
- Don’t be afraid to be controversial - While you may want to steer clear about divisive things like religion and politics on the first date, you don’t have to bore them with talking about the weather. Researcher Dan Ariley has found that talking about taboo subjects, like STDs, abortion and previous break-ups, leads to livelier conversations than sticking to safe topics. Nobody likes awkward small talk, so this helps break the tension so it’s easier to talk openly.
- Ask what their favorite drink is … then buy it for them - Not only does it show you’re paying attention, it could help you get lucky, too. OKCupid has found that men and women who drink beer are more likely to be open to intimacy after a first date.
Source: Your Tango