People Who've Been Together For Over 20 Years Share Their Advice

Staying together for 20 years is quite a milestone, isn’t it? You can say these people know a thing or two about relationships and what it takes to make them work – and keep them going. “SELF” spoke with people who’ve been in happy, fulfilling, sexy, and fun relationships with their SO for over 20 years, and here’s their best relationship advice.

  • “We have learned about and accepted each other’s ‘love language.’ We talk about what is important to us and what makes us feel loved. Huge, grand gestures can be wonderful, but after a number of years, they simply turn into gestures. Sometimes the littlest acts of love can feel the most intimate. Touch is important to me, so we hold hands while watching TV, a tiny gesture that never goes unnoticed. Verbal expressions are important to my partner, so I make sure to say ‘I love you’ to him every day. Often it’s the smallest efforts that have the biggest payoff.”
  • “We have been married almost 50 years. During all that time, it’s been important that we each continually communicate that the other is loved. My husband tells me he loves me constantly; he tells me I am the most beautiful person. For me, I’m most comfortable giving hugs each night when we climb into bed. These moments of embrace, I think, tell it all—that we are still in love and that, to me, this person is the most special.”
  • “We were friends first—I think that’s one of the main ingredients. We’ve been together since 1995, so we’ve had the chance to grow up with each other, and we aim to always encourage each other’s personal pursuits. We call it being ‘yay’ for each other.”

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