When you fail at dating, it can feel like you’re a total failure – like there’s no good at all. “There’s an actual fear of ‘failing’ at the entire dating game; basically, wasting time with the wrong person, not finding your one, or just screwing up the relationship in general,” relationship coach Laura Doyle explains to “Lifehacker,” “Imagine the stress and anxiety you feel when a work deadline is fast approaching, yet you’re not close to completing the task. Now crank that up 10 notches and you’ll have the emotions associated with what some people consider, their internal clock running out.”
Laura also stresses that it’s important to remember that dating’s supposed to be fun, even when you’re “failing” at it. Here’s her reasons how failing at dating can be a good thing.
- Change your mindset about dating and failure. There’s always a lesson you can learn, which will prepare you for success in the future. By embracing the possibility of failure, you’re letting go of the stress that comes with it and instead are letting yourself have fun.
- Failure also leads to a path to self-exploration. Use this as an opportunity to look at your own negative patterns to see what you can improve on, which will help you find the perfect relationship.
- Failure helps you realize what you want and what you don’t want. Seriously, meeting the “wrong” people will show the “right” qualities that you want in a partner (and of course the qualities that you don’t want).