At the beginning of a relationship, it’s all kissing, handholding, cuddling, date nights and not being able to get enough of each other. There’s so much passion, it feels like it can never fade … but it usually does. After years of marriage, kids, bills, piles of laundry and a never-ending to-do list, it’s easy to lose that connection. But the good news? There are things you can do to get it back.
Dr. John Gottman, the leading marriage researcher in the U.S., says couples who want to spark romance need to turn toward each other, even when they don’t feel like it. He shares these practical ways to bring back that “love high” you had in the early days as a couple.
- Schedule a date night and keep the plans a surprise - The anticipation makes us eager for the fun that’s coming.
- Practice a daily 60-second affirmation - This is a daily habit of talking about the positive qualities you see in each other. Start by giving your partner 60 seconds of encouraging words. Then they do the same for you. It’s simple and you’ll both get to hear what you love about each other.
- Send flirty texts to each other throughout the day - It’s a little thing, but your partner will appreciate it.
- Make foreplay a priority - Take your time with each other before getting into the hot and heavy stuff.
- Be affectionate and playful with each other in front of others - Doing it in private is great, but complimenting your partner in public is significant and can strengthen your bond.
- Start a new hobby together - Come up with a list of shared interests and pick one to start.
- Show appreciation by saying “thank you” - Telling your S.O. “I appreciate all you do” goes a long way toward showing respect, too.
- Take a walk hand in hand - A quick stroll around the block while holding hands gets the blood moving and the connection flowing.
- Plan a kid-free vacation - It doesn’t have to be fancy, it just has to be time alone together.
- Learn something new about your S.O. - Play 20 questions or ask each other to reveal a secret no one else knows.
Source: Your Tango