It can be tough to make new friends as an adult, so when you find a mom who has a child the same age as yours and you get along with them, you feel lucky to have a potential new pal. Parenting can be isolating and lonely, especially when you’re alone all day with a baby or toddler, so meeting others in the same position can be common ground for a friendship. But not all mom friends sustain and support you and some cause stress and are downright toxic.
So how do you know if a friendship is toxic?
- Instead of empathizing with your struggles and easing your self-doubt as a parent, they build themselves up by tearing you down. Suzanne Degges-White, a professor and author of “Toxic Friendships,” says, “Toxicity might look like a friend who is always putting down your choices as a parent, asking questions about your child that imply there is something ‘less than’ about your child, or talking about your mothering choices in a derogatory way.”
- Sharing something with others that you told them in confidence is another red flag.
- If you find that you’re hesitant to make plans with them or spend time with them, your intuition may be telling you to examine the dynamic of the friendship.
- Another sign of a toxic friend is if they minimize good things that happen to you.
- Spending time with a friend is supposed to make you feel better about yourself, not worse. If hanging out with this person leaves you feeling drained, not uplifted, consider that another warning sign.
While everyone has bad days and makes mistakes, toxic behavior is a pattern, not just a one-time slip-up. So if you’re not sure about a friendship, take a step back and look at the pros and cons of the relationship. If you want to salvage the friendship, talking to them may help, but if you genuinely feel like this mom friend doesn’t have your best interests at heart, it may be time to walk away.
Source: Huff Post