Communication is key in a relationship and the things you shouldn’t say to your partner can be just as important as the things you should say to your partner. Couples therapist Genesis Games, LMHC, is sharing three things she’d never say to her partner. These things won’t get you anywhere in your relationship.
- “Calm down.” “Saying 'calm down' doesn’t allow the other person to expand on what’s wrong or to explain why the situation at hand is upsetting them so much.,” Genesis explains. Even if the intent behind saying “calm down” is a positive one, the phrase itself usually isn’t well-received.
- “You’re acting like your mom” or “You’re acting like your dad.” “People don’t typically say, ‘You’re acting just like your mom,’ or ‘just like your dad’ as a compliment. It’s almost always a low-key insult that they know, deep down, is going to hurt the other person,” she explains.
- Anything contemptuous. This includes language that disregards, disrespects or shows disdain for someone. “I describe contempt as anything that feels like you’re bullying the other person,” Genesis says “And that’s what you definitely do not want to say in a relationship.” It’s more than just raising your voice or making a snarky comment. “It’s basically letting the other person know that they’re lesser than you and you’re superior, or that they should just feel so lucky that they have you around,” she adds.
Source: Well + Good