- Sort out, and “feel” your feelings
Just like people grieve when they lose a loved one, a person who is dumped needs to feel and own those negative emotions. The break-up is still fresh. There’s no shame in feeling bad. Ignore those who tell you that “it’s going to be okay” or “don’t feel bad.” It’s perfectly okay not to feel okay. As popular wisdom puts it, you need to assess the damage before you rebuild again.
- Release those pent-up emotions
It may sound cliché, but do whatever heartbroken people do. Get hammered, cut your hair, cry yourself to sleep, write a 2000-word blog post about the break-up, eat ice cream while watching romantic comedies, or open up to your best friend. Any catharsis allows you to act out and release all that pain you feel inside. This way, you let go of those unpleasant emotions and start the healing process.
- Cease communication with your ex until emotionally and mentally sober
The next step is damage control. Stay away from the source of your pain, especially if the break-up is still recent. Do you still have lingering feelings? You won’t be able to discuss anything in a rational manner or make sound decisions if you meet or communicate with your ex. So delete their number and remove them from social media for the time being.
- Absolutely NO sex with your ex
Sex with the ex is possibly the stupidest mistake after being dumped. Being in such a vulnerable state confuses your feelings. It makes you jump into impulsive decisions that you may regret later on. So even if the temptation is strong, strictly follow tip three.
- Stay off any social media platform that reminds you of getting dumped
We all know social media is a cruel place, especially for emotionally vulnerable people. In addition to this, it oozes with photos, posts, and memories of the time spent with your ex. Do yourself a favor and log off in the meantime to prevent you from stalking your ex and revisiting old photos.
- Don’t rush, take your time
Moving on has no deadline. The time it takes varies per person. It may take you weeks, months, or years even, so don’t be in a rush to forget, rather let time heal your wounds. Moving on at your own pace helps you sort out your thoughts and feelings better, so no hurries.
- Sort out your thoughts: accept the facts
Now that you managed to set your feelings straight, move on by rationally accepting several facts about the breakup. The first order of business, accept the fact that your old relationship is gone and move forward with your life. There is a moment of clarity after a breakup where you finally let go of those “what ifs” of trying to win the relationship back and instead start taking your own life back.
- Let go of your resentment
If you truly want to know how to get over being dumped, start by accepting that the relationship had some good memories too. After rejection, people are naturally prone to hating and resenting their ex for the pain they caused them. However, carrying such emotional baggage is unhealthy and prevents you from fully moving forward. Getting dumped tends to narrow down your vision on the painful moments without realizing that the happy moments far outweigh them. Remember your ex is also human with their own reasons.
- Go out somewhere
Nothing else better clears your head and heals your hurts than a good adventure. Be it a road trip, hiking up a mountain, or backpacking in different countries, traveling is a good way to overwrite negative feelings with fresh experiences.
- Distract yourself: revisit old plans and ambitions
Being in a relationship forces us to set some personal plans and ambitions aside to give time and attention to our partner. Now that you’re single, revisit and set those old plans into motion. Being productive is a good way to distract you from the breakup. Not only does it get your mind off unpleasant memories, but it also helps you get things done in your life.
- Discover new hobbies and passions
Starting new hobbies after being dumped gives you a fresh perspective and allows you to meet new people along the way. You break off from your old routine and make room for new experiences.
- Remember that it’s fine and awesome being single
Getting dumped always leaves the obvious question about whether you’ll entertain another relationship again. Depending on whether you’re ready, remember it’s fine to find happiness without a significant other. Accepting this fact allows you to emotionally mature and become independent. Happiness and fulfillment aren’t only in a relationship. Being single has a lot of perks too.
- Look towards and live for the future
The final step in moving on is knowing that relationships fail sometimes. The only way is to lick your wounds, stand up, and keep moving forward. It is a fact of life only learned the hard and painful way. Remember that even though you got dumped, you always have a fresh start. Gain strength from the lessons you learned from your old relationship.
- Reflect on what went wrong
You might have been blindsided by being dumped, but you should still do some reflection and see what went wrong in the relationship. Did you do something wrong? If so, what? Did your partner do something wrong? It’s important to look back and do this sort of analysis. The reason for that is that you don’t want to repeat the same pattern or mistakes in the future. So, when figuring out what went wrong, you can learn and grow from it as a person.
- Don’t beg for them to take you back
When someone gets dumped, their first instinct is to beg and plead for another chance. Your emotions overwhelm you and all you want to do is feel better again. And you think that the only thing that will make you feel better is to have your partner again. But you shouldn’t beg for another chance. That makes you look weak and will probably be a turn-off for your ex. The only way they would want to take you back is if you are a strong person who is moving on with your life.
- Work on your self-esteem
No one likes it when someone breaks up with them. It takes a huge toll on our self-esteem. You wonder, “What’s wrong with me?” and “What are my flaws?” But there is nothing wrong with you. The relationship simply didn’t work out. So, in order to feel better, don’t dwell on the negativity. Instead, look at all of your positive qualities and focus on them.
- Accept it
A lot of people hold out hope that the person who dumped them will see the light and change their minds. But usually, it doesn’t happen that way. They broke up with you for a reason – even if you don’t know what it is. So, all you can do is just accept it. You can fight against it in your mind, but it won’t make them come back to you.
- Start dating again
Instead of sitting around and moaning about how you got dumped, get out there again and start dating! Your ex is not the only fish in the sea. There are plenty of people out there who would love to date you. And now you have the opportunity to find someone who really appreciates you.
- Realize that it’s a cowardly move
It’s never easy to break up with someone, but mature people do it face-to-face. So, if your ex dumped you over text, that is a very cowardly thing to do. If they weren’t so immature, they would have had the courage to face you and have a conversation explaining why they were breaking up with you. You don’t want to be with someone who doesn’t have the basic human decency to look you in the eyes while saying goodbye.
- Block their number
If they dumped you on text, they might still try to contact you for whatever reason. So, if it would upset you to see another text from them, then you should just block their number so you don’t have to see it anymore.
Link: Love Panky