Red Flags You’re Dating A Closeted Perma-Bachelor(ette)

Dating can be tough when you’re looking for a serious partner and have to weed out the casual daters. And those who say they want a relationship when they really don’t make it even more challenging. Some people are just happier single, but won’t admit it to themselves. Others feel like they should be in a romantic relationship, but they’re unrealistic about what being part of a couple requires.

These are some warning signs that you might be dating a closeted “perma-bachelor” or “perma-bachelorette” - someone who acts eager for something they don’t really want.

  • They’ve had a string of short relationships - They’ve been in plenty of partnerships, they just don’t last. And they may blame the problem on inconvenience, like their exes expecting too much from them.
  • There’s an undercurrent of annoyance or frustration - When this person does things with you, they tend to seem restless or like they wish they were doing something else.
  • They run hot and cold - But with more cold than hot. They may insist that they’re into being with you, but it’s almost like they’re trying to convince themselves they are and you don’t feel convinced. You may feel like you’re constantly trying to get their attention, which they give in short supply, before reverting back to being distant.
  • You had a short honeymoon period - At first, things seemed ideal between you and they made time to do the things you like to do. But it didn’t last and now they seem ready to settle into the late-stage of a relationship, where two people do their own thing without doing much to keep the passion alive.
  • They act like it’s an obligation - You sense that your relationship is a chore for them, even the sex.
  • They’re cynical about partnership in general - A perma-bachelor may drop little hints that they consider romance silly and that relationships rarely work out.
  • They prefer their solitude - Everyone needs to be alone sometime, but they seem happier when they work and play without you. They’re eager to get away from you and back to their man cave or office and you can feel it.
  • One of the keys to a successful partnership is both parties wanting it. Beware of those who say they do, but don’t back that up with their actions.

Source: Psychology Today

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