We could all learn a thing or two about how to maintain and nurture strong, loving connections from happy couples who have been together for a long time. So what’s their secret? Couples therapists — who see the good, the bad and the ugly in their clients’ relationships — reveal the things people in happy relationships rarely ever do.
- They don’t shy away from tough conversations - No matter how compatible two people are, they’re not going to agree on every issue and disagreements will come up. But instead of trying to avoid those uncomfortable talks, they face them and talk honestly about whatever it is, from mother-in-laws to sex.
- They don’t keep score - In a healthy relationship, partners do things for each other because they want to, not because they’re tallying each other’s good and bad deeds, or expecting their partner to return the favor.
- They don’t hold grudges - According to the couples therapists, unhappy couples let frustration and disappointments create distance between them, but happy ones accept that nobody’s perfect and they’re willing to forgive and move on.
- They don’t call each other names - Even in the heat of the moment, name-calling can lead to resentment and defensiveness and happy couples don’t resort to that kind of negativity.
- They don’t snoop - People who are in a healthy relationship don’t need to dig through their partner’s texts or emails because they’re open with each other and trust each other. They don’t have a sense that their partner is trying to hide something, so there’s nothing to snoop for.
- They don’t lie to each other - Since they’re honest with each other, they don’t lie to each other directly or by omission.
- They remind each other they’re on the same team - Some people treat their partner like an opponent or an enemy, but not happy couples. They remember they’re on the same side, even when they just “agree to disagree on an issue.
- They don’t take each other for granted - It’s easy to get comfortable in a relationship and stop making an effort, especially when you’ve been together for a while. But those who are happy in their relationship don’t put it on autopilot, they’re intentional about going out of their way to nurture their connection and it helps them stay happy together.
Source: Huff Post