Do you know about DatingTok? It’s the dating section of TikTok and it’s full of videos about “icks,” ghosting stories, situationships and advice from real licensed dating coaches. But we are talking about TikTok, where anyone can post “advice” and claim to be an expert, so you can’t trust every clip you see. But this advice is from some of the most popular - and legit - dating coaches TikTok has to offer.
- Limit yourself to three non-negotiables - It would be great if your match also loves true-crime podcasts, votes the same way you do and agrees about where to set the thermostat, but this is real life and that’s a tall order. Dating coach Alexis Germany helps her clients identify their true dealbreakers by listing everything they’re looking for in a partner, then ranking them. She says the top three are the non-negotiables someone they date seriously has to have and the rest are nice, but shouldn’t knock a potential match out of contention.
- Don’t make attachment styles your whole personality - DatingTok is really into attachment styles and while knowing there’s a reason behind your dating pattern, therapist and relationship coach Keriann Long says it can easily become a crutch for hurtful behavior. Knowing you have an “anxious” attachment style can help when you’re stressing because they didn’t text you back within an hour, but it doesn’t make it okay for you to jump to the conclusion they don’t like you anymore.
- Avoid the “if they wanted to, they would’ve” mindset - There are tons of videos on DatingTok showing romantic partners doing things like opening car doors, serving breakfast in bed and planning elaborate gifts with the caption, “If he wanted to, he would’ve.” The message is that if someone doesn’t treat you like that, they’re just not that into you. But dating coach Sabrina Flores points out that can lead to unrealistic expectations. Just because they can’t read your mind about what you’d like them to do or say doesn’t mean they don’t like you.
Source: The Cut