How great would it be to see a smoldering someone on a dating app, match with them, then move quickly into a conversation worthy of a Shonda Rhimes show? It may seem impossible, but die hard romantics believe it can happen. A survey of dating app users finds that over 70% of them say it’s possible to engage in meaningful conversation and even fall in love with someone they haven’t met in person, only chatted with on an app.
So how do you make it happen? Get help from the experts, in this case, romance writers. Bestselling authors share their advice for writing witty banter and dating app dialogue.
- Embrace your own sense of humor - Emily Henry, author of “New York Times” bestsellers like “People We Meet On Vacation,” may just be the queen of quippy dialogue and she says, “One of the prime elements of humor is the element of surprise.” She recommends being true to your specific sense of humor, so you know if your match can hang with it, and giving them some unexpected funny responses as “a good litmus test.”
- Text like a real person - Casey McQuiston is also a bestselling author known for her quick-witted banter and she says to make that work in dating app convos, the key is keeping up the pace and sounding like a real person, rather than go for perfectly crafted sentences. “I think the ultimate advice is just never make them think you’re trying,” she shares.
- Paint a picture of your life - Offering details that create a clear vision of your life in your dating profile is a good start, according to Hannah Orenstein, “the master of the modern romance.” She also suggests using your match’s profile to find details for conversation starters. “Ask really interesting questions,” she advises. “Ask the questions you think other people might not necessarily ask.”
- Don’t be afraid to take risks - All of author Ashley Winstead’s books are full of surprises and her advice is about taking risks and embracing the unexpected. “The number one thing is that good, quippy banter is surprising,” Winstead says. “Always go with the verbal or written choice that is going to cause raised eyebrows or a little gasp… The unexpected choice, I guess.”