Why You Can't Stop Thinking About The One Who Got Away

Dr. Gary Brown, a Los Angeles-based relationship expert, says the definition of “the one that got away” is exactly as it sounds. “It means that there was someone who, in hindsight, we regret not being with because when we look [back] we feel that they may have truly been ‘the one’ for us that we might want to have known better.” — OR, “[you may] even realize that they were potentially the one you might very well want to spend the rest of your life with,” he says. Regardless, it didn’t work out for whatever reason. As “Elite Daily” writes, “it’s a self-written fan faction” that lives “in your head rent-free.”

So when does holding on to an ex become unhealthy? While some experts suggest, “If it puts a smile on your face, then keep the indulgent memory.” Dr. Brown says not to cling to someone of the past so much that it distracts you from living your life now and stops you from enjoying your current relationship. Keep these things in mind if you’re at this point.

  • Make peace with the fact that this is a fantasy
  • Deconstruct the fantasy and accept there’s no way to know if you would’ve had a happy outcome anyway
  • Speak your truth. If you 100% still want them in your life and know they were “the one” then let them know, even if it doesn’t work out. You won’t have anything to lose.

Source: Elite Daily

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