Is It Ever Okay To Date Your Friend's Ex?

Ex-partners are off-limits to friends…right? According to Gretchen Wieners of “Mean Girls”, “that's just like the rules of feminism." But what happens when life takes an unexpected twist and you find yourself attracted to and actually wanting to pursue your friend’s ex?!

Couples’ therapist Mukti Jarvis has an answer for that: “If it would damage the friendship and cause you to lose an important friendship which you value highly, more highly than what could happen with her ex, let it pass.”

However, deciphering whether or not it’s “worth it” can be complicated. You should ask yourself: “what’s my intent?” If it’s just to sleep with them, then no it’s not worth it. But if you really like them as a person and feel there’s a potential for more, go through this list of questions:

  • How long is it since they broke up and why did they break up?
  • Who ended it? Was it your friend?
  • Are they still in touch? i.e. is it definitely over?
  • Are they friends now?
  • Have you already been friends with the ex? Did you meet this person through your friend or did they meet through you?
  • What’s your friend feeling about that past relationship now? Do they still have feelings for the ex? Or is it over and emotionally they’ve both moved on?

If you’re leaning towards dating them, it’s wise to have a convo with your friend and see where they currently stand with their ex. Besides, it’s better they find out from you that you’re dating their ex rather than another source.

Source: Fashion Journal

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