It’s hard to completely let go after a breakup which is why many people contemplate staying friends with their ex. While some people are able to successfully do it, it’s not for everyone and requires some serious consideration. Divorce coach Bec Jones broke down the pros and cons of staying friends with your ex to “The Independent.”
- It makes navigating shared children, pets, friends easier
- You get to remain in each other lives if you both agree to shift from a relationship to a friendship.
- You could be left more hurt down the line if you let your ex stick around but you still have strong feelings for them.
- It can prevent you from being able to let go of what you had before and move on.
- You have to be okay seeing them with someone else.
So how do you know if you should? Well if the relationship was “abusive, manipulative, or toxic in any way” then staying friends isn’t an option Jones says. You also need time alone to process the end of the relationship. Jones advises you, “take time to recover and rebuild independently at the end of a long-term relationship.” If you’ve done all that and decided to make it work, here’s how to do it.
- Set boundaries. Don’t associate until both people have had time to heal from the breakup. It will make the friendship “more robust and genuine.”
- Avoid spending time with one another in a “romantic setting. So no late-night dinners or hanging out in sentimental locations.
- Keep your communications more business-like but still friendly. So no goodnight texts either.
Source: The Independent