Long after a breakup, when you think you’ve moved on from your ex, you may find them showing up in your dreams. Does this mean you’re not totally over them on a deeper level? Not necessarily, according to Dr. Jenn Mann, a marriage and family therapist. She says it also doesn’t mean you’re unhappy with a new partner, if you have one, adding that “dreams and the unconscious mind are far more complicated than that.”
It turns out, dreaming about your ex is incredibly common and these are some reasons it might be happening to you:
- You’re mourning the loss of the relationship - Even when your breakup was a good thing, Dr. Jenn says you have to grieve the loss of the relationship and that person in your life. And if you don’t do it when you’re awake, it may get worked out while you’re asleep.
- You’re merging the lessons learned from your past relationship into your new one - Dr. Jenn explains that it’s common to process a break up in stages and that the more distance you get from the split, the more awareness you tend to have. Dreaming about someone you once loved could be a way of helping you take those lessons from your previous relationship into your new one and she says that’s a sign you’re evolving and growing.
- Your ex represents something else significant - People, places and things are often symbolic in dreams, so your ex could be representing something else you need to deal with.
- You need closure - You could be dreaming about your ex because you’re not at peace with how things ended. But that doesn’t mean you need to wake up and text them, Dr. Jenn says you don’t actually have to talk to them to feel resolved.
- Your current relationship isn’t meeting all your needs - Even if you’re happy, there could be things you’re not getting from your current partner or things you wish were different with the relationship. The dream could be highlighting those so you can talk about them with your boo and no, you don’t need to mention that you dreamed about your ex to bring it up.
- You’re just not over your ex - This is the least likely scenario, according to this expert, since people who aren’t over their ex are typically aware of it when they’re awake. But it happens, especially when people idealize a relationship after it ends.
Source: In Style