There’s something called an “exchange-orientation” that happens in relationships. It’s basically the quiet observation one makes of whether or not their partner is carrying their weight. Couples do this as a way of “keeping score.”
Harvard Business Schoolsays that arguments over household chores are a leading cause for divorce. Whether couples realize it or not, they keep score with each other all the time! For example, saying “I’ve done the dishes the past three times meanwhile, you’ve only done them once,” is how this may come out in an argument. Here are some of the top chores, couples “keep score of.”
- Doing the dishes(57%) - A cluttered sink can feel overwhelming and if it’s your partner’s mess that can spark some resentment.
- Taking out the trash(46%) - It can also be so annoying to feel like you’re always the one doing something about overflowing trash.
- Cleaning the kitchen(42%) - Between all the scrubbing, wiping down, and mopping, this can be a huge and tiring task for one person.
- Cleaning the bathroom(36%) - The real argument may be over who makes the biggest mess in the bathroom.
- Doing laundry(29%) - Some couples even admit to keeping their laundry separate just to avoid any fights.
- Grocery shopping(26%) - This task can be time-consuming and a hassle. It can get old always being the one who goes to the store.
- Being too tired for intimacy- Interestingly, this one is specific to couples already with kids.
- Time with In-laws- Spending more or less time around in-laws can affect a couple’s relationship.