They say practice makes perfect, but when it comes to dating? That’s not always the case. Some singles fall into old habits that can be hard to break and aren’t helping them make love connections. According to dating coach Connell Barrett, the biggest dating mistake people make over and over is… trying too hard to impress. He says this makes you come across as needy and you’re much better off expressing yourself rather than trying to impress.
But this isn’t the only mistake singles make when trying to land potential partners. These are some other dating don’ts that may be holding you back:
- Messaging endlessly on a dating app- Barrett says this tactic will make people lose interest and you’ll lose out on dates. He advises getting your match off the app as quickly as possible - in around 10 messages or less - and setting up a date. And he suggests opening with a fun quip that lets them know you’re looking for a date, not a penpal, something like, “So, how about we text each other for three weeks and then never meet? ;)”
- Posting subpar profile photos- Dating apps are highly competitive, so you really need to show your best side, which means posting high quality, current pictures that show your “most datable, attractive self,” Barrett says.
- Taking rejection personally- In the early days of courtship, this person barely knows you, so if they decide they’re not into it or ghost you after a few dates, it’s not really rejection, it just means you’re not a good fit. Try to reframe it as part of the path to finding love, not a failure.
- Not knowing what you need in a partner- What you were looking for in someone when you were just out of college probably isn’t the same thing you want in a partner today, so make sure your dating strategy evolves with you. It’s important to figure out who you are now and what you want, as well as what kind of partner you need for that, according to personal development coach Rebecca Kiki Weingarten.