Ever dated someone you know is bad for you, but you still can’t seem to walk away? Most of us have been there, done that, but some people keep going for the “wrong” people. But what does that really mean? It’s different for everyone, depending on what they’re looking for, but it basically means someone who can’t or won’t give you what you need and want in a relationship. And if you’re in a cycle of dating the “wrong” people, this is how to break it.
- Have a clear dating goal- Before you can get what you want in life, you have to know what you want. That’s also true when it comes to dating, so figure out what you’re looking for in a partner and relationship and you’ll be less likely to end up in a situation that hurts you emotionally, physically or financially.
- Know your boundaries and standards- Once you have a goal for your casual relationship, serious relationship, or anything in-between, decide on your standards - as in what you’d say “yes” to, as well as your boundaries - the things you’d say “no” to. Staying firm with these will help you filter out people who aren’t on the same page as you.
- Take your time to get to know your date- It’s easy to get attached to the “wrong” people when you rush the dating process and get close before really knowing who someone is, so try to slow down and give it time.
- Avoid (too much) alcohol on the first few dates- A drink or two may help loosen you up, but it could also potentially cloud your judgement, which is especially important the first few times you go out with someone.
- Have important conversations early on- People are often afraid of getting into serious topics too soon, but talking openly and neutrally about important things like life goals can help you gauge long-term compatibility.
- Move on ruthlessly- If you get the feeling someone is “wrong” for you, trust your gut and walk away. The longer you stick around, the stronger your attachment to them is and the harder it’ll be to leave.