20 False Dating Myths You Need to Banish From Your Mind

#1 She’s out of your league. Or you’re out of his league or any version of this. There is no such thing as leagues or levels of attractiveness. Everyone is attracted to different things. Sure, some prefer long legs and sparkling eyes, but others prefer intellect or a sense of humor.

#2 Men don’t like strong women.If this was true Michelle Obama, Hilary Clinton, and Beyoncé would all be single. Sure, some men with fragile egos who carry around a sack filled with toxic masculinity may prefer a woman to be in the kitchen as opposed to a board room, but those men are not the majority.

#3 Women like bad boys. In every teen drama, you see the good girl fall for the bad boy. This is the same reason “they” say nice guys finish last. There is this romanticism of the bad boy turning good for the girl. The thing is, that is almost always on TV or in books.

#4 Play hard-to-get.Playing hard-to-get is a mind game. As common as that phrase is, it rarely works. Studies have even shown that a man may be more likely to try to pick up a woman that plays hard to get but will rarely choose her for the long haul.

#5 Women care more.This goes back to women always being the caregiver, the mother, the gentle one. The fact is, it isn’t true. Men and women care equally and messily. Some days a woman may care more, while other days the man might.

#6 Opposites attract.This age-old tale is bologna. Sure someone who loves to travel could find a homebody attractive. And someone that is super fashionable may find someone who wears sweats hot.

#7 There is one perfect person for everyone.The idea of finding your soulmate or your other half may have been believable before there were more than 7 billion people in the world, but now with more than 8 million people living in NYC, it just isn’t possible.

#8 You need a spark.The spark. I, myself, believed in this for a long time. If there wasn’t a spark I was out. I thought without that I’ll never get there. The passion and connection will never grow. That is entirely untrue.

#9 Never have sex on the first date. This is a sexist and outdated idea. It says that having sex on the first date means you are easy and not worthy of respect. This is just old-fashioned and wrong.

#10 Being husband or wife material. If you think of these terms, you probably think of a woman making her husband a martini and roast after a long day at work, and a man providing for his wife and buying her jewelry. That right there is enough to tell you how outdated this dating myth is. There is no such this as husband or wife material, at least not generally.

#11 Men want sex more than women do. Women enjoy sex just as much as men do. The only reason this isn’t discussed or well-known is that for centuries women have been made to feel ashamed for their sexuality while also being judged for it.

#12 Men prefer to be single.There is an idea that men prefer to sleep around and date new women. This follows the same idea that men are afraid of commitment and are more likely to get cold feet before a wedding. The thing is, only 12% of single men say they would rather be single than in a committed relationship.

#13 The internet has ruined dating. Sure, cat-fishing and the Craigslist killer give online dating a bad reputation. As someone who met her boyfriend online, it still leaves a bad taste in my mouth. But, 20% of current American couples have met through online dating.

#14 Everyone lies and cheats. This is a bitter take on dating and love in general. This comes down to your beliefs about people being inherently good or bad, but it just isn’t true.

#15 Online dating is desperate.This may have been considered true when it first launched, but now more than 40% of the US population use online dating. Yet, when I was online dating the number of people that offered to lie to my friends and family about how we met was astonishing.

#16 You’ll always love your first love. Sure, you’ll always have the memory of your first love just like the memory of your first kiss or your first car or your first plane ride. But, we over-romanticize our first loves, which usually were puppy love when you look back.

#17 When you meet the one you’ll know.I told myself this for a long time because so many people repeated it to me during my single days. They said you’ll just know. And the thing is, I didn’t.

#18 Marriage is the goal. Not everyone wants or needs to get married, and that is okay. Not everyone needs a monogamous relationship and that is okay. Marriage is not a measurement of your success.

#19 You’ll find the one when you stop looking. This makes no sense. I have been told this so many times. If you stop looking, you’ll meet someone. What the heck? How are you going to meet someone if you’re not looking? How did so many people meet their person online if they weren’t looking? This makes zero sense and is meant to help you relax about being single. There is nothing wrong with trying or looking if that is what you want.

#20 Love conquers all.This may be the biggest myth in all of love and dating. Love is strong and amazing. It can do a lot, but it is not everything. If love conquered all, no one would divorce or break up or cheat. Love is not always enough. You can love someone and not trust them. You can love someone and cheat on them.


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